The Pumpernickle Pickle

Ramblings from a not-so-normal SAHM

WWGmD? August 23, 2007

After re-reading my last entry I realized that I didn’t mention anything about my dad’s family.

My dad is one of 8 kids. (I’ll take this opportunity to shout out to all my aunts & uncles – who don’t read this blog but that’s beside the point – David, Anne, Ellen, Peggy, John, Mark and Matthew – and all the kids that go with them – a list way too long to try to remember and I don’t want to leave anyone out so I’m not naming names). Anyway…back to the point. Of those 8, 5 are adopted. I think that’s amazing.

I never really “knew” my grandmother. I have one outrageously amazing Granny and I never felt like I was missing out on not having a relationship with the “other grandmother.” In fact, I didn’t really like her. Don’t get me wrong – I loved her because she was family and she adored me. But as a person, I didn’t really “like” her.

I should have. She opened her home to kids who didn’t have families. She took them in and she loved them all equally. She must have been a great mom because my dad is a GREAT person. In all the stories I’ve heard about her there’s never been one about how she beat one of them or berated one or even yelled at them. I don’t think I ever heard her raise her voice. Maybe she was just too tired…there’s days I can’t cope with one more whine, much less 5 more kids full of whines.

On the day I was born, she was waiting by the phone for the call about my arrival. Instead, she was called by her dear friend. There was a baby who had no home. On the day she was waiting for her 3rd grandchild to be born, she adopted her 8th and last son, Matthew. He’s a day older than I am. Can you imagine having a baby the same age as your 3rd grandbaby?? She did it.

My grandmother passed away a couple of years ago. I will never have the opportunity to know her like I now wish I did. I will never hear her stories. I will never receive her wisdom. And that’s sad.

But I’m so lucky, still. My Granny is one of my best friends. If there’s anyone in this world who understands the feelings I’ve gone through on my journey through trying to get pregnant all the way to where I am now, acknowledging that I will never again feel a baby move inside me – it’s Granny. She went through it all before me. The only time I’ve ever seen her cry is when she talks about not having more kids. She still cries about that. Maybe I will at her age – I don’t know – but I know that if I do, it will be a comfort to me to know that I’m not the only one who’s ever felt that way. I can talk to her about things that I don’t always feel comfortable talking about with my mom (who’s also my best friend). I can talk to her about things others don’t understand because they haven’t been through them. But she has. She’s been through more than I can ever imagine – but the point is, she made it through them. And she made it through to become an awesome person. She’s one of the two most amazing women I know. And I’m so blessed to have her. My life certainly would have suffered without her hand in it. And now she shares herself with my children. They adore her as much as I do. They cry out for her when they’re sad. They want to call her when they’re excited. We all love her and are better for knowing her.

I wonder how the rest of the women in this world get through the days without her. Because I’m not sure I ever could have.

Now I’m crying (and I don’t cry). So I should go before the sappy gets any thicker. Thanks for reading.

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Why I’m OK with my upcoming surgery August 22, 2007

Filed under: Family,gifts,health,home,kids,love,medical,nonsense,sick,Uncategorized — pinkadillies @ 5:31 pm

A lot of thought has gone into this surgery that I’m having (the date is Oct 4 for those who didn’t know). At first, I was at odds with it: I knew I needed it for health reasons but I wasn’t ready to face the fact that I wouldn’t have anymore children. I mean, Gary’s been fixed and I was fine with that but there has always been that tiny (1 in a million – but that’s still a chance, right?) possibility that we could have another one.

But here’s what I know: I know I hate (vehemently) being pregnant. I’m not, in general, a happy-go-lucky kinda gal. I am actually quite the bitch (Dolores Claiborne said it best: Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman’s got to hold on to). So add hormones and being constantly hungry to that and you have a me that NO ONE wants to be around. And I mean NO ONE. Even my doctor hated me. I also know that having Cordi took me out of remission and it took 3 years to get my health back under control and I am certain the hormones resulting from that pregnancy shaved years and years off my life (but she is SO worth it). I know I have 3 beautiful children and there are so many women who would give everything they have for just one. I know I’m blessed. I know I’m loved and I know my life is full.

But it is more than that. What I’m going to say now shouldn’t offend anyone – I don’t mean it as a judgement on those who have huge families or more than 3 kids. This is simply how I feel about MY situation.

I feel like if Gary and I were to make another child it would be selfish. There are WAY too many children out there without homes. Without loving parents. Without anything. I wouldn’t feel right putting another child out there when we could take one of these kids into our hearts and home. And that child would be just as much mine and just as loved as my birth-given children. Having another child myself would both take away that potential child’s would-be future and could very well end up taking my life. And who am I to let my own desires take me away from my children and husband? How guilty would Gary feel for getting me pregnant when we both knew the risks? I simply cannot do that.

And that’s why this surgery is a good thing. It’s a happy thing. And it will be 2 less things I ever have to worry about again 🙂

 

Storm Worm – Return of the Jed-Worm August 21, 2007

Filed under: bad news,blog life,carpola,computers,email,nonsense,Online Life,virus,worms — pinkadillies @ 9:25 pm

Copied from HERE 

Storm Worm pursues more “members”
Published: 2007-08-21 

The group responsible for propagating the malicious program commonly known as the Storm Worm changed tactics this week, using e-mail messages masquerading as verification announcements from online Web sites and clubs to lure victims.

The e-mail messages use a fairly regular format, including a brief greeting, a supposed temporary login name and password, and a link to a malicious Web site, according to antivirus firms. The destination site will tell the user that, to log on, they need to download a secure login applet. Victims that do install the software will become infected with the Storm Worm bot software.

The names of the online Web sites used in the e-mail messages appear to be constructed from two randomly chosen words and include names “Fun World,” “Internet Dating,” and “MP3 World.” In addition, there is some evidence that the Storm Worm is using the MPack infection tool kit to compromise systems.

The Storm Worm, also known as Zhelatin and Nuwar, first started spreading in January using fairly large, but controlled, bursts of e-mail routed through previously compromised computers. Each burst typically sent out a custom variant, trying to infect systems before the user updated their antivirus definitions. The original program compromised systems by luring users into opening the attachments of messages with subject lines regarding news events, including violent storms in Europe–a characteristic that led to the program’s naming.

Earlier this month, the Research and Education Networking Information Sharing and Analysis Center (REN-ISAC) sent out a warning to universities after a number of denial-of-service attacks appeared to be aimed in retribution at schools which had scanned systems for Storm Worm infections.

 

867-5309 (or So It Begins) August 20, 2007

I knew it was coming. I knew it would happen eventually. I just didn’t think it would be so soon!

That’s right…my boys are being approached to become boyfriends.

Bergen got a note from a girl that included her address and phone number. She wants him to call her.

But it’s not just any girl.

This is the girl who’s daddy screamed sexual harrassment 2 years ago after Peter told someone he saw her panties when she was on the monkey bars. Keep in mind – they were in kindergarten AND she was wearing a mini skirt.

This is the girl who last year had to be separated from Bergen during recess because she wouldn’t quit kissing on him (which he did NOT enjoy).

So what does this mean for me? It means I have to go up to the school this afternoon and have yet another talk with the teacher. My only real concern here is a what if. What if Bergen rejects this girl and she tells her daddy that he did something to her? Her daddy is a big man. And I really was hoping to save my TV debut for a reality show that’s NOT Cops.

 

Quote of the Week

Filed under: carpola,nonsense,Online Life,Quotes,TV,Uncategorized — pinkadillies @ 9:15 am

In case you missed the last one or the definition of what this is all about, please go here first.

This week’s quote comes from JD Roberto from Reality Remix:

I don’t have to embrace Brett Michaels.

 

Just wondering…

Filed under: carpola,nonsense,Uncategorized — pinkadillies @ 8:56 am

Do they actually serve Danish Wedding Cookies at Danish weddings?

And if so, do they serve the boxed ones or do they make them from scratch?

 

It’s so quiet… August 16, 2007

The boys went anxiously to school today. Cordi’s sitting on the floor eating crackers. The silence is beautiful.

I’m a little sad that my little guys started the 2nd grade today. It seems like it was only yesterday that they were in NICU or rolling across the floor to get everywhere. There were so many days that seemed to last forever and yet they went so quickly. I feel like I just blinked and they were starting school and now they can read and write and are excited to go learn more. It’s a bit heart breaking. And Cordi is right behind them. She’ll start before I can catch my breath…

Here’s some pics I took today and recently. Don’t forget to click the pics to see the full-sized picture.

 Cordi sleeping in Gary’s lap with Krusher:

cordikrushersleeping.jpg

Cordi and Bergen sleeping at Mom’s:

sleeping.jpg

The boys ready for school this morning (it was very bright outside):

firstday2007.jpg        firstdayofschool2007.jpg