The Pumpernickle Pickle

Ramblings from a not-so-normal SAHM

Post surgery update October 15, 2007

Let me again apologize for the lack of posting. I haven’t felt like doing much of anything but sleeping and laying down, watching TV for the past week and a half. Even right now I’m not feeling too much like talking but I feel that you guys who aren’t in daily contact with me (which would be all of you but my mom and husband) would like to know what’s going on.

I had the surgery (duh?). It took about an hour and I was crazy-groggy but that didn’t stop me from getting on the phone and ringing my friend, June. I’m not sure what I said but I’m sure it gave her a good giggle. But she was able to pass the message on to several of my online pals that I had made it through to chat another day. The hospital stay was bumpy to say the least – I hope I never run into any of those nurses in the “real world” or I’ll be 30 shades of scarlet. And I may never be able to look Dr. Driskill in the eye again after he was the doc on call in the middle of my first post-op night and I, in a 2 AM morphine-haze, demanded he be called AT ONCE to get me some Xanax or send me home. I’m so ashamed. I can’t believe I’m still married.

Anyway – we got home Saturday (the 6th) and I slept until Tuesday when I got out of bed for the first time, I think. We had a list of WONDERFUL friends who brought us dinner that whole week up until tonight (THANK YOU!) and checked in with us to make sure we had everything we needed. It was so nice to feel the love!

Yesterday I finally started to feel a little better, lowering my pain meds and moving around. I’ve gotten to where I can get up earlier in the morning (an early-EARLY-for-me-8-AM this morning) and not have to take a nap, although I get a sinker mid-day. I’ve weaned completely off sodas and haven’t had anything but water or milk (with a 2 soda slip from which I quickly learned my lesson) since getting home. I feel good. I might even try a more-than-2-minute-shower tomorrow! But I don’t want to push it…

We only had one issue since we got home with a little infection-ish thing (nothing too ewey) but the doc said it wasn’t a big deal and sent me home with a bandaid so I think we’re doing good! I see the doc on Thursday for my 2 week visit to see about lifting some of my restrictions (esp. the “can’t drive” one). Hopefully we won’t have anymore set backs and we’ll only see good things from this. Chris (Dr. D) did say that it could take up to 3 months for my iron to fully “recover” so I’m hoping that’s not the case here but even so, it’s better than never, right?

So that’s that. If you have a question, ask. I’ll be back soon – I have all kinds of things to talk about (like, did I mention my brother and Hollie are HAVING ANOTHER BABY!?!?!? WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!). Just hang with us a little bit longer…I’m trying to do more with the kids and that takes priority, of course, but it might also lead to more pictures for you guys 😉

Later, Taters!

 

Goings On September 27, 2007

Well, we’ve reached the home stretch. In one week I’ll be in the hospital hopefully recovering by now but most likely still awaiting the surgery. Either way it will be the day I’ve been waiting for for a long, LONG time. I’m just so ready.

 However, it doesn’t seem like all of me is. I am having serious issues sleeping and I’m having what must be my body’s version of panic attacks. I’ve finally broken down and called my GP to see if I can get any relief. Maybe they have ideas that I haven’t had yet so I can avoid another medication. I doubt it but maybe. You never know, right?

Cordi’s been really sick this week which also stresses me out. I’m so afraid that I’m going to get sick and then they won’t do the surgery. She has run fever every day this week up until today. So hopefully that means she’s done with it all but yesterday she had no fever until around noon then it spiked really high. Again, it’s just a waiting game. Hopefully she’s turned the corner, though. I worry about her so much when she’s sick. She’s so tiny and just doesn’t eat enough to maintain herself while she’s sick.  I hate that. I wish I knew how to make all the kids eat more (and eat better!)

So that’s pretty much all that’s been going on here this week. Gary came back from hunting with a spike. We had our first steaks last night – they were yummy! So we now have a freezer full of meat – yay! That will help with the grocery bill for a while.

Anyway – I better get back to work. I’m trying to get all my swaps and things done before the surgery. So I’ll try to be back and post some pics of the kids before I go MIA for a while.

Thanks for reading!

 

Chemo Me August 23, 2007

I posted on one of my sites that I’d show my hair-less-chemo-do from when my hair had thinned so much I just shaved it. It started to grow back last year so this is not what I look like now.

So here it is:

mehairless.jpg

 

Why I’m OK with my upcoming surgery August 22, 2007

Filed under: Family,gifts,health,home,kids,love,medical,nonsense,sick,Uncategorized — pinkadillies @ 5:31 pm

A lot of thought has gone into this surgery that I’m having (the date is Oct 4 for those who didn’t know). At first, I was at odds with it: I knew I needed it for health reasons but I wasn’t ready to face the fact that I wouldn’t have anymore children. I mean, Gary’s been fixed and I was fine with that but there has always been that tiny (1 in a million – but that’s still a chance, right?) possibility that we could have another one.

But here’s what I know: I know I hate (vehemently) being pregnant. I’m not, in general, a happy-go-lucky kinda gal. I am actually quite the bitch (Dolores Claiborne said it best: Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman’s got to hold on to). So add hormones and being constantly hungry to that and you have a me that NO ONE wants to be around. And I mean NO ONE. Even my doctor hated me. I also know that having Cordi took me out of remission and it took 3 years to get my health back under control and I am certain the hormones resulting from that pregnancy shaved years and years off my life (but she is SO worth it). I know I have 3 beautiful children and there are so many women who would give everything they have for just one. I know I’m blessed. I know I’m loved and I know my life is full.

But it is more than that. What I’m going to say now shouldn’t offend anyone – I don’t mean it as a judgement on those who have huge families or more than 3 kids. This is simply how I feel about MY situation.

I feel like if Gary and I were to make another child it would be selfish. There are WAY too many children out there without homes. Without loving parents. Without anything. I wouldn’t feel right putting another child out there when we could take one of these kids into our hearts and home. And that child would be just as much mine and just as loved as my birth-given children. Having another child myself would both take away that potential child’s would-be future and could very well end up taking my life. And who am I to let my own desires take me away from my children and husband? How guilty would Gary feel for getting me pregnant when we both knew the risks? I simply cannot do that.

And that’s why this surgery is a good thing. It’s a happy thing. And it will be 2 less things I ever have to worry about again 🙂

 

Sorry July 30, 2007

Filed under: health,home,illness,medical,sick,Uncategorized — pinkadillies @ 6:31 pm

No real blogging for me today. I’ve been running around 104.3 today and I think I have strep throat. Starting my antibiotics today… 😦

I’ll check in tomorrow.

 

Today’s Dr Appt June 18, 2007

Filed under: medical — pinkadillies @ 9:15 pm

Wellllll

All in all it wasn’t too bad. My iron is still SUPER low but I knew that was going to be the case. So his reaction to that was not great and not happy news. I have to go see my GYN asap and then, if she doesn’t find any cause for it, I’ll have to lower my dose of Cymbalta. I hate that because it really works so well. I’m just going to have to wait to see what happens, I suppose. I’ll call Dr. C (gyn) tomorrow to set up an appt and we’ll go from there.

Everything else stayed the same. One of my meds was taken off the market so I’m off of that now but he didn’t know what was out there to replace it yet so for now I’m on a homeopathic remedy and he’ll call me with the info for the other med when he gets it.

I’d lost 6 pounds! So now only 14 to go 🙂 I’m so glad! I didn’t even realize I’d lost it but I’ve been walking every night with Cordi and trying to do as much as I can without wearing myself out so I guess it’s paying off a little bit. I was thinking of buying that Alli that just came out but if I can lose the rest with walking I’d rather do that – and save the $50 for a new dress for the lighter me!

Nothing else new, really. I will hear back soon about my h&h (iron levels) and post about that then. Until then I’ll be on the same meds and dealing with the same side effects, etc, which are all minor. Just like I thought – nothing I should have been fretting over anyway 😛

 

My Monday

Filed under: medical — pinkadillies @ 6:38 am

I have to go to the doctor today. I hate going to the doctor. I don’t know why – he always makes me feel better about everything. I just get nervous. I think it’s because I went so long getting bad news from the doctors for so long. So now I always feel icky inside about going to the doctor.

I’m anxious to see what he does with my meds, though. Last week I had my first completely pain-free day in over 3 years. It’s a good news/bad news situation, though. I am thrilled to have found the medication that gets rid of the pain. However, it’s stadol. So I can be pain free but it leaves me super loopy. I don’t want to be loopy all the time. I don’t want to be fuzzy or unable to drive or pay adequate attention to my kids. So I’m really wondering what he’s going to do with this info. I guess I’ll be back this afternoon (it’s 12:30 am now) to post about what went down at the appointment. It’s at 11:15 this morning.