The Pumpernickle Pickle

Ramblings from a not-so-normal SAHM

Apology and a pic September 13, 2007

Filed under: blessings,daughter,Family,family life,gifts,Hobbs,home,kids,love,photos,preschool,school — pinkadillies @ 12:22 am

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Life’s kinda gotten in the way. So here’s a pic of my gorgeous girl on her first day of preschool a couple weeks back to tide you over until I have some time (which I hope is this weekend).

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Dad’s Blessing 8.26.07 August 26, 2007

Filed under: advice,blessings,dad,email,Family,gifts,God,life,love — pinkadillies @ 3:02 pm

I bless you with positive words said at just the right time.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

Proverbs 18:21 NKJV

Nathaniel Hawthorne came home heartbroken. He’d just been fired from his job in the custom house. His wife, rather than responding with anxiety, surprised him with joy. “Now you can write your book!”

He wasn’t so positive. “And what shall we live on while I’m writing it?”

To his amazement she opened a drawer and revealed a wad of money she’d saved out of her housekeeping budget. “I always knew you were a man of genius,” she told him. “I always knew you’d write a masterpiece.”

She believed in her husband. And because she did, he wrote. And because he wrote, every library in America has a copy of The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

You have the power to change someone’s life simply by the words that you speak. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

– Max Lucado

 

WWGmD? August 23, 2007

After re-reading my last entry I realized that I didn’t mention anything about my dad’s family.

My dad is one of 8 kids. (I’ll take this opportunity to shout out to all my aunts & uncles – who don’t read this blog but that’s beside the point – David, Anne, Ellen, Peggy, John, Mark and Matthew – and all the kids that go with them – a list way too long to try to remember and I don’t want to leave anyone out so I’m not naming names). Anyway…back to the point. Of those 8, 5 are adopted. I think that’s amazing.

I never really “knew” my grandmother. I have one outrageously amazing Granny and I never felt like I was missing out on not having a relationship with the “other grandmother.” In fact, I didn’t really like her. Don’t get me wrong – I loved her because she was family and she adored me. But as a person, I didn’t really “like” her.

I should have. She opened her home to kids who didn’t have families. She took them in and she loved them all equally. She must have been a great mom because my dad is a GREAT person. In all the stories I’ve heard about her there’s never been one about how she beat one of them or berated one or even yelled at them. I don’t think I ever heard her raise her voice. Maybe she was just too tired…there’s days I can’t cope with one more whine, much less 5 more kids full of whines.

On the day I was born, she was waiting by the phone for the call about my arrival. Instead, she was called by her dear friend. There was a baby who had no home. On the day she was waiting for her 3rd grandchild to be born, she adopted her 8th and last son, Matthew. He’s a day older than I am. Can you imagine having a baby the same age as your 3rd grandbaby?? She did it.

My grandmother passed away a couple of years ago. I will never have the opportunity to know her like I now wish I did. I will never hear her stories. I will never receive her wisdom. And that’s sad.

But I’m so lucky, still. My Granny is one of my best friends. If there’s anyone in this world who understands the feelings I’ve gone through on my journey through trying to get pregnant all the way to where I am now, acknowledging that I will never again feel a baby move inside me – it’s Granny. She went through it all before me. The only time I’ve ever seen her cry is when she talks about not having more kids. She still cries about that. Maybe I will at her age – I don’t know – but I know that if I do, it will be a comfort to me to know that I’m not the only one who’s ever felt that way. I can talk to her about things that I don’t always feel comfortable talking about with my mom (who’s also my best friend). I can talk to her about things others don’t understand because they haven’t been through them. But she has. She’s been through more than I can ever imagine – but the point is, she made it through them. And she made it through to become an awesome person. She’s one of the two most amazing women I know. And I’m so blessed to have her. My life certainly would have suffered without her hand in it. And now she shares herself with my children. They adore her as much as I do. They cry out for her when they’re sad. They want to call her when they’re excited. We all love her and are better for knowing her.

I wonder how the rest of the women in this world get through the days without her. Because I’m not sure I ever could have.

Now I’m crying (and I don’t cry). So I should go before the sappy gets any thicker. Thanks for reading.

 

Why I’m OK with my upcoming surgery August 22, 2007

Filed under: Family,gifts,health,home,kids,love,medical,nonsense,sick,Uncategorized — pinkadillies @ 5:31 pm

A lot of thought has gone into this surgery that I’m having (the date is Oct 4 for those who didn’t know). At first, I was at odds with it: I knew I needed it for health reasons but I wasn’t ready to face the fact that I wouldn’t have anymore children. I mean, Gary’s been fixed and I was fine with that but there has always been that tiny (1 in a million – but that’s still a chance, right?) possibility that we could have another one.

But here’s what I know: I know I hate (vehemently) being pregnant. I’m not, in general, a happy-go-lucky kinda gal. I am actually quite the bitch (Dolores Claiborne said it best: Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman’s got to hold on to). So add hormones and being constantly hungry to that and you have a me that NO ONE wants to be around. And I mean NO ONE. Even my doctor hated me. I also know that having Cordi took me out of remission and it took 3 years to get my health back under control and I am certain the hormones resulting from that pregnancy shaved years and years off my life (but she is SO worth it). I know I have 3 beautiful children and there are so many women who would give everything they have for just one. I know I’m blessed. I know I’m loved and I know my life is full.

But it is more than that. What I’m going to say now shouldn’t offend anyone – I don’t mean it as a judgement on those who have huge families or more than 3 kids. This is simply how I feel about MY situation.

I feel like if Gary and I were to make another child it would be selfish. There are WAY too many children out there without homes. Without loving parents. Without anything. I wouldn’t feel right putting another child out there when we could take one of these kids into our hearts and home. And that child would be just as much mine and just as loved as my birth-given children. Having another child myself would both take away that potential child’s would-be future and could very well end up taking my life. And who am I to let my own desires take me away from my children and husband? How guilty would Gary feel for getting me pregnant when we both knew the risks? I simply cannot do that.

And that’s why this surgery is a good thing. It’s a happy thing. And it will be 2 less things I ever have to worry about again 🙂

 

A TV GIVEAWAY!! July 28, 2007

WOW!

5minutesformom.com is giving away a 37″ Flat-Panel LCD HDTV! All you have to do is go HERE and leave a comment then post about it on your blog and you could WIN! Does it get any easier than that?? So GO SIGN UP!

 

And the winner is… July 27, 2007

The draw box:

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 The drawing:

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 And the winner is:

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and the twist winner is:

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When will I announce the winners?

It’s now 12:19 AM MST. I am going to bed. I will announce the winner upon waking, taking care of kids, etc. Basically, I’ll get here when I get here and then I’ll tell you.

Until then, feel free to go ahead and comment on the post and you’ll be entered into the drawing! Best of luck! And thanks for reading my blog 🙂